choke on it, 2011

With today being New Year's Eve Day (are we really so obsessed with holidays now that we have begun naming and celebrating the Eves?), I followed a long standing tradition of getting up and going to work and doing nothing for four hours since 98% of my customers were closed. According to standard corporate operating procedures, if we stand a chance at making even one penny of profit, we shall be open for business.
     After getting a visit from my Dad which yielded a bag of powdered sugar donuts, I went back to doing mindless year-end reports until I was politely interrupted by one of the few customers who actually doesn't annoy me. He was out running errands with his wife and girls, and they were thoughtful enough to bring us a dozen donuts. I don't know where this particular dozen came from, and I know that beggars can't always be choosers, but I'd really like to know who the hell it was that thought putting lemon filling into a chocolate donut would be a good idea.
     Completely tweeked out on coffee and sugar, I finished up my reports and proceeded to wasting time on the internet. A few visits to popular news sites revealed that just about everyone is compiling Top Ten lists for 2011. I quickly got bored with the usual, so me being me, I started browsing for lists that hail from a few miles off the beaten path. Here's what I came up with, which I am calling "Scott's Anti-Top Ten List".

10. Detroit Lions Moments

http://www.mlive.com/lions/index.ssf/2011/12/top_ten_detroit_lions_stories_3.html

9. Something about soccer

http://msn.foxsports.com/foxsoccer/usa/lists/top-ten-who-impacted-us-soccer-fox-soccer-2011-list-clint-dempsey-hope-solo-abby-wambach-122811

8. IT Issues

http://www.educause.edu/EDUCAUSE+Review/EDUCAUSEReviewMagazineVolume46/TopTenITIssues2011/228654

7. Sex & Tech Headlines

http://www.zdnet.com/blog/violetblue/2011s-top-ten-sex-and-tech-headlines/913

6. Emergency Management

http://www.emergencymgmt.com/emergency-blogs/alerts/Our-2011-Top-Ten-122811.html

5. Royal Weddings

http://storify.com/clarencehouse/our-2011-top-ten

4. Golf Equipment

http://www.squidoo.com/top-ten-golf-irons-2011

3. Pagan News

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/wildhunt/2011/12/top-ten-pagan-stories-of-2011-part-one.html

2. Diet Pills

http://pricesexposed.net/

1. Anti-Semitic Slurs

http://www.jewishjournal.com/nation/article/2011_top_ten_anti-israel_anti-semitic_slurs_20111213/

So there you have it. My Top Ten list of the most unusual top ten lists I could come up with. I was going to post only the titles, but I though maybe people wouldn't believe some of them. I provided links so you can go see them all for yourself. I really don't think I could have made these up anyway. So read, enjoy, and ponder why someone would chronicle Anti-Semitic slurs while you wait for Dick Clark's ball to drop. I have a bottle of Johnnie Walker that needs attention, and a whole lot of boring-ass 2011 to forget.